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| Ok, so I've been going through a lot or stress lately and I feel I can't fully rant without posting on my xanga. I haven't used this in a while so I think I should start again. If you don't like reading about rants... this may be a waste of time. Unless you're a stalker, which I think is really creepy, or you just wanna know what's been going on in my life. Anywho!
So numero uno: I hate school. I feel like I can't find anything that interests me so fully that I could invest all my time and excel in it. I can't find myself. Like, I love music... a lot. I've been taking a music theory course and I'm taking the A.P course next year. That class is really the only one I've actually committed to and am taking it because I enjoy it. But I want to do so many other things and do well in it that I've neglected the fact that I like making music. I'm so confused! As my German teacher says... if you look yourself in a room for 8 hours and did a particular thing say, like playing the guitar, you'd probably be like pro. But I can't sit in my seat for like more than 2 hours. Ok I swear I have ADD. I mean, I'm not crazy. I'm just way too excited for everything.
Numero dos: People. Some people just annoy me so much it's not even funny. It's not all the time though. Sometimes I'm fine with it. Sometimes... I'm not. Maybe I'm slightly bipolar too. I find it hard to express myself with words. Like when I want to say something and a flash of words come at me, I start to stutter. How frustrating! And then when I'm embarrassed, my face turns bright red and then, it's all over.
Numero tres: My walk with God hasn't been that well. I never find the time to spend with God and reading His Word. Sometimes there's so much I want to say that I'm at a loss for words. Nowadays, when I have free time, I read a bunch of devotions from OurJourney which is so unhealthy because it's like I can't get it to stick to my head. Though my personal walk with God through reading the Bible isn't that great, the progress of my small group has been pretty good. Bonding time through tangents. Sarah's also been a great counselor, a really cool one!
Numero... quattro? PROM. I really wonder who came up with this event. Basically you dress up, go eat and dance, go after-partying [some go drinking which is kinda stupid, no offense] and some go to... IHOP. hahaha. So my prom dress looks like this: http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2951180?refsid=203407&refcat=0%7e2376776%7e2374325%7e2384392&SourceID=1&SlotID=2&origin=related
I bought a size 2 and it "didn't fit." Then I realized that I've been zippering it the WRONG WAY and this just upsets me because that was just a waste of my time, effort, and brain cells. So why did I get myself into this?
Numero cinco: Oh, by the way, I don't take Spanish, I take German. But Spanish sounds kinda more... catchy. Yeah I just wanted to type something in numero cinco to create a more dramatic effect. 'Cause everything goes to cinco!
And on top of all this: My music theory final composition, Facing History project, and my research paper! Oh yay... whoopdeedoo. You have no idea how happy I am... NAWT!
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| WTC '07 Copernicology: Find Your Center This TC was just awesome. It's amazing how God spoke so clearly through Jason and wow, it was just wow. Before this retreat, I had so much homework and projects and tests all I could pray about was how much I needed the grades and for God to give me strength through all the stress til TC. It was all about me, me, me and shoot, I could care less about others. I was afraid that prog team would make my self-centeredness even worse (i'm glad you guys felt the same way haha). Being part of prog team really tied into the theme of finding my center and that planning hypes and emceeing wasn't about myself, but used to glorify God. Before being on prog team and watching people emcee every tc, i just thought, "Oh, these people are just fun and games, whatevs." I guess i can say i looked down on them. But it never struck me that maybe hypes weren't just games, but games to hype up everyone for God. This year totally changed my perspective. My prayers. I would always ask God for this and that, thank Him, and that was it. I would always say I'm unworthy and all that stuff but I never thought of the other end of the relationship and how hard it was for God to send His one and only son to die for us, and never even once would i praise him. I was way too selfish. Now I know that I pray not because I'm unworthy, but because He is worthy. Thank You God for letting me go to this TC.  | | |
| HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! goodbye 2006. hello 2007!  | | |
| soo.... i got baptized today! it was very very overwhelming and it still hasn't fully fully hit me yet. i've made this decision since easter baptism so geeeez 4 months of waiting for the right time. i'm glad i've made this decision and even though it's a bit unsettling, it will come to me sooner or later. so here's my testimony: My first encounter with God was probably at Sunday school in the little secluded “staff” room where the vending machine is located. I remember clearly when I was a 6-year-old with a bunch of kids my age who knew nothing of what they’re talking about as they memorize Bible verses week after week for a “WOW!” sticker next to their name on a chart. I didn’t like Sunday school at all. Besides, I was bored and hungry all the time. After a few years, I went to an after school program where they helped with homework and shared excerpts of Bible stories. Since I was curious about everything when I was 9, I started asking “Why?” and “How?” questions about Jesus, where one question led to another. Being too old for A.C.C.E.S.S, I went to Project Destiny in 2003-2004. I take these two years as the “revival” years for my curiosity with Christ and became Christian in 2003. I’ve gone through a few challenging friendship trials which brought me down a lot since I expected a better life after becoming Christian. Well, I guess my expectations were wrong. After wondering why the life of a Christian isn’t all as “perfect” as I thought it would be, at the perfect time, God came through. There was this one particular speech that a coach gave me which reassured my faith with Christ and that the road I chose to Him was right. He asked us, “Have you ever felt you just weren’t good enough in volleyball no matter how hard you try? Well it’s the same in life – no matter how hard you try; you just won’t get to the top of things.” And so he concluded with, “Nothing can fulfill your striving to be the best because only God can satisfy everyone’s needs.” ok i'll update later with pics :D | | |
| omgosh this weekend was great. happy birthday to me! haha i'm sucha loser but it's ok i can accept that fact. anywho thanks to EVERYONE who said happy birthday especially the ones who paid for my food and got me a present and for those who cared and simply said happy birthday. i really appreciate you spending your time with me. i'd hafta say at first when i planned everything i had no clue how it would turn out - boring? stupid? but it was great guys. seriously. i wouldn't have typed an entry if it wasnt, you know how im lazy and all haha. thanks again everyone    and i can't wait til next saturday!  christmastomundo partayto lol | | |
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